1. It's 11:57am

    1. Me: Ben is the best
    2. Kylie: He seems like the best
    3. Me: Wanna get drunk?
    4. Kylie: I was actually just about to say that

  2. When I said something stupid to JB's 12 year old brother the other day...

    1. little bro: well yeah, Americans are just...
    2. JB: No, its not the people, its the government.
    3. Little bro: I looked up democracy in the dictionary the other day. It means the people rule themselves.
    4. Pause
    5. little bro: So if its not the people. and the people rule themselves, why don't the people make a revolution?

  3. A little note…

    Dear Congressman, I’m writing to urge you to take a strong stance toward lifting the siege in Gaza, ending the occupation of Palestine, and demanding an immediate end to Operation protective Edge responsible for the near 1000 now dead at the hands of Israel.  I urge you to look beyond the loud lobbys and almost habitual bi-partisan talking points of American relations in the region. These are real lives in Gaza and the West Bank that are being brutally ended, ripped away from family from friends from communities.  Communities that I’ve spent the last two months being welcomed into with open arms and love and unmatched hospitality.  If nothing else hear my voice as loud as those who rise against it.  It is one that speaks with inspiration garnered at the wisdom and grace of the many Palestinians and Israelis I’ve met who are committed to peace and justice and human dignity, who are sacrificing for it. This assault, these bombs, these bodies…  This is an entirely man made disaster.  With no justification.  As a global society we should be ashamed.  As Americans we should be ashamed. 
    Take a strong stance.  Condemn the exorbitant use of force by the Israeli state.  And, perhaps more importantly, condemn the occupation.  An occupation to which, too many times, when the dust clears and bombs stop falling, the residents of Gaza have been left to return to, to mourn their children and to rebuild their homes and communities within; violent tragedy dealt (and left to be dealt with) in the context of extreme, constant, and long practiced oppression.  To say end the violence, and to mean it, does not mean stop the bombs.  End the violence.  It means end the occupation that destroys livelihoods, refuses human dignity, denies basic rights, and takes lives.  
    Terrorists should be condemned, rooted out, and prosecuted.  Not fabricated.  Not generalized as a race or ethnicity, a history or population.  To do so undermines their true character and therefore the true threat that very real, very dangerous extremists around the world of all shapes and sizes and brands of ideology pose to peace and security.  I refuse to accept that the best strategy for these threats lies in denying rights and freedoms and futures to an entire people for generations on end in the name of justice.  Terrorists should be stopped and brought to justice.  Not created.  Not manufactured.  The actions of the Israeli state and lack of condemnation by my representatives assaults my convictions as a human and as an American.  This is not my democracy.  This is not a commitment to freedom that I’ve come to so deeply cherish and believe in.  
    As the last page of my passport reminds me every time I show it at a checkpoint in the West Bank, or at an international airport free to come and go as I please, “The cause of freedom is not the cause of a race, or a sect, a party or a class - it is the cause of humankind, the very birthright of humanity.”
    To be an true American is not to champion Israel.  It is to promote freedom and democracy and self-determination.  And, in cases like these, to have the strength and courage to wade through the common opinion, the long accepted status quo, and economic interests and find revolution in truly seeing where that cause of justice and liberty lie.  I urge you fight for a discourse not set on the turf of and referred by a single diplomatic or cultural tie but rather one that is defined, held up, and acted upon through a lens shaped by the founding principles of our nation.  Life, Liberty, Equality.  Create a true American discourse, one that just as quickly and easily condemns the brutality of a state, any state, killing over 500 civilians in a territory for which they are responsible as it does condemn imprecise reckless rocket fire from that territory that kills less than ten.   
    Take action now.  Hold to it.  We should refuse to see ourselves here again in 6 months, a year, two years.  We should refuse Israel’s impunity in perpetuating a system of occupation that is entrenched in such basic violation of international law.  Violating millions of real, individual, human lives.
    When it takes hundreds of protests to build the kind of constituency to even say that bombing children is condemnable you know that something has gone terribly wrong with politics.  With humanity.
    I urge you to act.  
    End the violence.  End the seige.  End the occupation.
    In peace,

    I’m in Amman.  So one step further removed than I was a few weeks ago from what’s going on the Palestine and Israel right now.  Which pleases my family but really kills me sometimes, like when I saw the photo yesterday of the thousands of Palestinians in a demonstration marching from Ramallah to Jerusalem. Man it can be hard to be so close, but so far.  

    But, more rationally, the truth is that even when I was there it was hard to feel a sense of efficacy.  And I certainly never felt like I could slow down and gather my thoughts enough to write about it.  But from here, with a desk job, Ramadan lazy times, and Middle East heat I’ve had a bit more luck.  And as the news piles up, the deaths, again, reach catastrophic numbers, and the main stream media rages on in much of the same cowardly way as it always has… I still don’t really know what to do, but I know nothing isn’t it.

    So like any good American student who magically got a 5 on her AP Gov exam despite something like 40 absences from class her senior year, I googled my representatives emails and sat down to exercise my democratic right, to send an email, that will probably be read by an unpaid intern much like myself.  But as it goes, these kinds of emails massing up.  These kind of phone calls coming in in large numbers.  Have the power to make changes.  And I know for sure I want to have my name, my little drop, in that pool.  So this is what I sent.

    If you get a chance, anywhere in the world, get out to a rally.  It makes a difference.  And slowly, it seems some tides are turning…




  4. Hi! I’m alive I hope you are too!

    Because I have found myself with a week of preparation before I begin teaching a two week english intensive to a group of 10-20 women in the jordanian badia and I have come to you S for your expert advice.

    Really though, non rhetorical. Like, help.

    I continue to blunder through the world guided by my faulty talent filter just hoping to fall into some kind of good for the world efficacy. It’s brought me through the past two months in Palestine and landed me here in Amman for the next month or so.

    I’ve settled, relatively, as it goes. And I’m looking forward to filling in the gaps of the last few weeks. Including tear gas, bullets, sewage streets, fasting, hard goodbyes, tough choices, bruises, and most of all love. A lot of love.

    Did I mention I’m living with JB these days?

    And I published my first piece on Palestine?

    Jazzed to sit down and do some updating.

    And really though. How does one begin to teach English?

    I dreamed the other night about romping through colorados majesties with you dressed to the SoCo 9s, flannels and wool socks and knit hats galore. Maybe because, as it goes, the Middle East turns out to be a desert, and it happens to be July, and I happen to be too poor to buy a fan… Mountain air and your aura dreams make sense.

    Miss you love,


  5. Last night, I cried of happiness. Happiness. 

    When the last time was that that happened, I couldn’t tell ya. 

    I need to stop saying “I have so much to write” and actually write. Bolivia-bound come Sunday. Really don’t think I should bring my computer, but have sufficient reasons to do so. I think.

    — S  

  6. Just organized an office worth of paperwork in Arabic. It’s like that time I did all the taxes of that small business by hand.  Or, more literally, by fingers, because that’s still how basic addition works for me.  #notalentfilter #googletranslate

    Being qualified is a social construction as we say.  But I don’t know if I’ve been quick enough to recognize that this, being given chances like these anyway to see what we’re capable of, and getting paid (and/or funded, and/or fed) for them… that just might be privilege.  Because there are probably plenty of Palestinian women that could be here doing this better than me.  But I’m the one with the blue passport born speaking English to a family and onto a life path that supports all of my wildest endeavors.  so here I am.  Hows that for an alhomdulliah?

    On the bright side, it all makes me super grateful for amazing organizations like this one working to make that all a little less absurd from the places that it makes the most difference.  It’s good to be back here in Idna, in Hebron, with these amazing women and the community they’ve created at the Women in Hebron Cooperative.  It’s strange to be so confronted with like occupation on top of patriarchy on top of poverty type heavy serious oppression stuff and also at the same time this kind of hope and reminder that resistance and change and making a difference in tangible lives is possible.  Not easy, but not moribund.

    Is what I was thinking about as I filed away orders and receipts and grant paperwork all day.  Next post I’ll write about something lighter.  Like what is becoming my epic saga to make friends with the vicious cats that live outside my window.  And sometimes break into my house and eat my lebenah.


  7. and for something a litter closer to what I’m calling home these days.


    (Source: Spotify)

  8. This song should have more than 300 views.  Espcially because like 50 of them are me.  Also because our favorite Heather Browne of CC study abroad office/badass music blogger fame set up the recording.  And since we collectively constitute like half of the study abraod business for CC that pretty much makes us famous. fuelfriendsblog.com


  9. Forgot to find a place for these gems but I think they make nice bookends to those last three posts. The first, a demonstration I ran into in Bethlehem on my way to Hebron Friday that (from what I understood of an Arabic explanation) was part to do with the maiyya wa mila’ = karaama salt and water = dignity movement in solidarity with the near 100 Palestinaians entering their third week of hunger strikes, some for much longer.

    And the second from a surprise closing and unclearly motivated construction of the main enterance to beit ommar that I had to circumvent on my way back home on Sunday.

    Put your protest pants on and you never really know what you’ll find. But today is Monday, so I’m back at my desk, staring down another two and a half months of what is so ‘adi around here. And trying to understand and do all I can in solidarity to change it.


  10. 'Adi part 3 - My Hebron

    I don’t have the political will nor an deep enough grasp of the H1/H2 zones, the checkpoints, the demographics, the religious significance, and everything else that makes Hebron - Hevron and/or al-Khalil justice. So instead, I’ll simply just state some things bluntly to which I know an eloquent argument exists to support. That is, tell you what I think rather than write a dissertation. Because lord knows there’s plenty of time for that later. So to start, Hebron is nuts. In my mind it’s the most stark example of what this conflict has created both in visible on the ground effects (here resulting in apartheid-esque daily living conditions) as well as on a more meta level (that I liked to think of in this case as warped extreme idealism.)

    The city of Hebron is a good chunk into the Occupied Palestinian Territories. In this case, the West Bank. Under international occupation law it’s a solid no-go for the occupying power to transfer their population onto the occupied land. Because you know, as an international community we’ve at least decided that imperialist and colonialist nations have to at least be a little more subtle. Unless your Putin and you feel like taking over a little chunk of Ukraine every now and again of course. But, quite like Putin, the international communities distaste has done little to slow settlement of Israelis into Palestine. In fact it seems to be one of Netanyahu’s number one go-tos whenever he’s feeling jaded. Or not jaded. Or if it’s a day that ends in y. And as it turns out there’s a lot of days like that, which is how you get a good 600,000 or so Israelis living illegally in settlements in Jerusalem and the West Bank. Most are economic settlers drawn in by subsidies and low rent. Some of them don’t even that they live across the green line as they never run up against checkpoint or the separation wall in full force. But some settlers are ideological. They know exactly where they are. And they are there with a mission whatever it be; the reclaim the holy land of their ancestors, to fulfill prophecy, to push out the Arabs. And so here’s where Hebron comes in. As I see it in a general (and widely accepted) caricature, Hebron is where the most um, passionate? crazy? radical? ideologically violent and violently racist? (I’ll let you pick you adjective) of Zionist settlers dig themselves in to wage the holy battle of pioneering all of Judea and Sumeria in order to prime it for the second coming. Anyone’s basic rights that stand in the way are but casualties to the greater cause.

    If you’ve heard of Hebron you might have heard of children getting routinely arrested, or maybe the history of massacres on both sides, or something else terribly violent. Basically, thats pretty right for what it is. That is, it happened, and happens. And that’s what so often makes the news, builds the narrative.

    However I might argue even more than physical battle ground of civilian weaponry, bleach, rocks, rubber bullets, tear gas, spit, fists and whatever-else-have-you that comes in and around your typical Friday protests… the often lost story that lays the contemporary foundation beneath the rest is that of Hebron as an administrative battle ground of land grabs.

    this side of Hebron isn’t as easy to take provocative pictures of or catch on video, but as you’ll see sometimes you can do just that. It’s not the Hebron you’ll get to know, see, understand and feel quickly like you do the segregated streets and thick army presence and constant sound of fireworks, maybe tear gas, maybe bullets in the distance. This part of Hebron vibrates at a frequency much more under the radar.

    This Hebron lives in the zoning laws that change quickly to a suit a certain kind of need and deeply deprive those of others . It’s trickery with the fine prints of ancient deeds and pitting neighbors against each other with access or lack thereof to sewage, to roads, to entrances to their very homes. It’s confiscating land for military bases that go on to support outposts-turned-nationally-recognized-but-still-internationally-illegal-settlements. And all of it is inching, or rather meter-ing more and more land away from Palestinians. It’s not a thing unique to Hebron. You see these games all over the OPT. But here the tensions manifest themselves the thickest. This Hebron operates by leveraging class and culture and law and history and whatever else to take that land and dignity away from a long local population and secure it for radical ideological fringe (and largely condemned by the general population) Israeli settlers.

    Let’s take a case study to see what this really means. And lucky for me I stumbled so literally into one up in the hills this weekend. All these tactics are in one way or the other is tied up somewhere in the story of the Abu Haikel family and the land of Tel Rumeida. To the good grace and built up genuine relationships that my friend and our guide Cody has impressively cultivated around town I had the privilege of getting to spend a morning with them hearing their story.

    This family’s particular brand of battle for their land is being fought versus a state sponsored and almost hilariously overtly conquest-y zionist archeological project run by the Israeli antiquities authority. (See: https://m.facebook.com/groups/549213671837027?view=permalink&id=611785998913127) Witht he help of 7 million shekels of funding the antiquities authority has begun to dig into the land that has held up the homes of these people for generations. Already the struggle has dwindled the number of families that remain. What once was around 70 lives being lived out here has more than halved to around 30, Its amazing what kinds of apparatuses like the art of uncovering history can be turned so terribly political. But you know if that sounds like its treading contestable and the video doesn’t do it for you, an Israeli organization of archeologists has come out strongly against the project for its disregard for ethical and rational practice. And, rest assured that plenty of the goings on are illegal on multiple levels. Levels that the Israeli courts and police themselves have pointed out, ruled against, and helped-ish to stop.

    From here this becomes yet another story that I lack the eloquence to tell in full so I’ll over some photos. They show a family’s land. Partly owned, partly rented, but all paid for years up into the future. They show the fences being build around it, the thousand year old olive trees being threatened with razing, and the old stone walls being crumbled to the ground. They show the signs that tell a family everyday that entering their own land is dangerous. A warning that is unfortunately confirmed consistently through confrontations with soldiers, with antiquities officials, with bulldozers. But, as the two matriarchs of the house learned last weekend, when the law isn’t quick enough to act rightly on your side sometimes there’s nothing left to do in the battle to stay steadfast but sit down in front of your olive trees and refuse to let your history, your heritage, and your rights be demolished.

    (The video above and the last picture here come from the Save Tel Rumeida Facebook page which does a way better job of explaining the story than I do here, and also has links like this https://m.facebook.com/groups/549213671837027?view=permalink&id=622423931182667 to write a letter to the Israeli antiquities authority if one feels so inclined.)

    Take or don’t take that as far as you will, by all means. But wherever you take it, it seems hard to ignore as a goal that has been manifesting itself for years in Hebron and beyond. And not just up in the hills, but down in the heart of the medina as well every Saturday with another quaint tradition that makes this place what it is; the settler tour that with it brings a weekly near shut down of the Palestinian old city.

    Every shabat around 4:30 a tour of maybe 30 current and perspective settlers saunters through the Palestinian souq with the guides shouting loudly in English and Hebrew the prime importance of the Jewish history here in an attempt to convince folks to join the struggle. There’s no pretext about it. Except I guess you could count the run through of the old city that the IDF take on as a precautionary measure a half hour or so before the tour passes through as some kind of oretext. This entourage of a couple dozen soldiers has taken to doing some silly silly (read: unnecessarily forceful and probably illegal) things. And this Saturday was no different. Fifteen minutes before the tour group walked by the soldiers decided to break into a Neshat al-Batshe’s family’s home without any kind of warning. like literally broke the door, and continued to ran up past the unsuspecting family in full military style so that 6 or so of them can get on the roof to set security. Because apparently they couldn’t do that from the military base they already have that is literally one roof over… As you can see quite poetically here. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=788796531152215&substory_index=0&id=100000656272146 breaking doors, taking names, taxpayer dollars and young impressionable lives all being out to good use. Riiight.

    (The above video and the last photo here courtesy of my friend from house building days Cody and current CPT team member stationed in Hebron)

    Basic property and/or human rights are the kind of things you can pick when you feel like respecting around here it seems. Because, Israel. It’s like minorities being stopped and frisked on the streets of NYC, or the racial breakdown of the prison system back where I call home. Because, America.

    To me is the kind of place where I stand and look out from a rooftop and see the speckled buildings dawned with their Israeli flags pushing in and out making islands with the rest and truly it looks like a place under conquest. The kind of picture you see in a text book of a hundred years ago and think “jeez how did people let that happen?” I thought I’ve had too many times around these holy lands.

    So that’s Hebron In a nutshell. Crudely. My analysis without much nuance. Again, its tumblr, so you know… When I run for office (lolz) don’t be an asshole and quote this on Rush Limbaugh. or do. That would satisfyingly ironic.

    Because really when it comes to a lot of these things, there isn’t enough nuance in the world to excuse the blatant human rights abuses and fundamental disregard for humanity. And just overall, nuance can’t overshadow what this place seems to me: a tangible manifestation of a time that a really unfortunate combination of all we are and what we’ve come up with on this earth (and as an American I fully recognize my large role in the all) by way of ideologies and economies and laws and priorities and values and definitions of success and conceptions of the ‘other’ combines with our capacity to create broken systems, allow ourselves and others to continue living in them that just really freaking demonstrate how much we can screw up what beautiful things, places, people, and capacities the universes has gifted us with.

    Right, so in traditional form this is where you end with the hope.  Because that last part kind of sucked.  And maybe here this is the place for nuance.  Because no doubt there is beauty in Hebron.  Layla’s laugh as she chases shabab away with a stick, the kids handing out nuts and running around with chickens, the little giggly boy holding on to his kippa atop what looks like his older brother shoulder running him around just for fun, the buildings turning purple every night reflecting another typically stunning sunset. People organizing, bulldozers being stopped, community being built around resistance. There is certainly good here, there is love, because life is beautiful.  But on a macro scale the reality cant be erased by these little acts of poetry alone.  Maybe inspired to action, maybe made more clear, memorialized to a current of change.  But for now, today Hebron as a whole remains today at least to me as it is: a fucking place man.